You No Longer Need Me

a story about how growing up happens so fast

I saw you running and playing at the park, and it felt like time had fast-forwarded to this unknown moment I wasn’t prepared for. I pushed you on the little swing, but you have almost outgrown it. Your call to be pushed “higher, higher” rang out, and I know it was only a matter of time before you will be on the bigger swing.

You run around with absolute freedom. Exploring the slide, meeting new kids, climbing, and jumping. You wanted to climb up a tricky part, and I watched from the sidelines as you began on your own. You called me over when you didn’t know your next step, but when I got there, your cousin was already walking you through what to do next. He was telling you where to place your feet and when to reach and grab the bar. You were doing it all on your own.

I remember the days when I had to climb around on the playground with you. Just learning to walk, you needed me there to guide you, to help you. I would hold your hand as you climbed the stairs, and I would be there to catch you at the bottom of the slide. Even though those moments felt exhausting at times, I loved them. I loved being by your side, seeing you learn, and watching you take in all the kids who ran by.

Today at the park, you instantly run off and make a friend. I admire your ability to go up to anyone and say, “Hi, I’m Emma, wanna play?”. You put yourself out there, take risks, and try new things. You no longer need me by your side.

It’s amazing how far you have come in these past two, now almost three years. I love seeing how big your heart is as you watch out for others and reach out a hand. You find joy in the simplest of things, like being chased and playing “tickles.” I can see some of me and your Dad in you, but I also see how uniquely your own you are.

I love listening to the conversations you have with yourself in the backseat—the way your imagination takes over, and a whole world is happening. I also love hearing you sing, even if you ask to play the Maui song over and over. It always surprises me when you pick up the words from the songs we love and sing along.

What a gift you are to this world. Your Dad tells you all the time to never, ever stop being YOU. You just giggle and run away, but I hope that this sentiment is being imprinted on your heart. Because who you are is so uniquely you, and the world needs your sparkle.

I know as time goes on, you will need me less, or maybe it will just be in different ways. But one thing will never change: I will always love watching you learn, discover, and grow. And no matter where you go or what you do, I will always be here when you need me, holding out my hand ready to walk beside you.

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What’s a moment in your life that stopped you in your tracks and made you realize how quickly time passes by?

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I invite you to take a walk down memory lane and hear what it was like for Dustin and me after we made it through our first year of parenting. There were many unknowns we encountered, many firsts, many things we learned. It is wild to think that we are now almost on the other side of two years.

And yes, if you didn’t know, Dustin and I have a podcast together. It is a bit of a passion project that gets away from the nighttime scroll and into the studio to chat with one another. We would love for you to jump into the Blue Canoe and paddle down the river with us.

You can listen on your favorite podcasting apps, including Spotify & Apple

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